The Null Device


According to the latest Onion, teen-goth idol Marilyn Manson is now going door to door, trying desperately to shock Middle America.

"I just stood there thinking, now there's a boy who tries way too hard," Binford said. "I mean, come on: Homoerotic sacrilege went out in the late '90s."

Also, Alessandra Coletti, the 22-year-old mezzo-soprano sensation, who is said to be the finest opera singer of her generation, is control, is completely unknown amongst members of her generation.

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The street finds its own uses for things: A German company has released a CD-ROM "sickness simulator", with profiles of 15 medical complaints, and instructions on how to fake them to get time off work. Doctors are not amused.

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Egypt is rebuilding the fabled Library of Alexandria, razed in 632 by Caliph Omar, and by others before him. Though, the new library may be little more than a tourist trap; for one, Alexandria is not the cultural hub it was in the times of the ancients, and secondly, Egypt's Islamic censorship laws (which have already banned a number of authors from the library) may impair the library's credibility as an objective repository of learning from across the world.