The Null Device

2003/10/15

Mitch has an outline for a counterfactual historical novel, in which Islam conquered the world centuries ago, and the Caliphate of central Asia is the world's sole superpower:

One day, out of the blue, the Al-Aqsa and An-Nabawi mosques are destroyed, with great loss of life. A third sneak attack in Mecca itself is foiled only by the brave actions of unarmed pilgrims. Never in history has there been such terrorism in the heart of Islam. Blame falls upon the much feared Crusaders, a radical Christian movement based in remote North America, where Europeans who refused to convert set up a patchwork of states many centuries ago. The new caliph in Kandahar, Osama bin Laden, sends his warplanes to bomb the Republic of Texas, which is hiding rebel leader George W. Bush. But even though a new government (the "Southern Democrats") is swiftly installed in Texas, victory remains elusive. The global crusade makes attacks across the civilized world, especially in Palestine, where for several years Christian colonists have been agitating amongst the majority Jewish population, urging them to secede from the caliphate.

3

2003/10/14

New World Disorder has some unintentionally brilliant found hip hop lyrics. A representative sample:

we like all you ladies Lookin Sexy with a pepci
So dont look like your pussys tight man you know me
we can do it all night tell the brake of Dawn
But dont get me rong in the morning you got
Leave cause my mother will Bitch at me

Oh, and also via NWD, the latest Trucker Fags in Denial cartoon is up.

comics found found poetry hip-hop jim goad teenage trucker fags in denial unintentionally hilarious 1

Japanese scientists pair up monkey and robot designed to mimic attractive female monkey; social awkwardness ensues.

But the 10-year-old-male monkey, named Choromatsu, paid little attention Saturday to the swooning robot, whose flashy metallic eyelashes and bulging synthetic eyeballs failed to charm.
Choromatsu sat with a scowl through most of the session, often staring at the ceiling or looking at researchers and photographers

Sounds like a fairly typical blind date. Except for the bit about the researchers and photographers, that is. (via jwz)

monkeys robots 1

A Texas woman has been charged with child pornography offences for having photographed herself breastfeeding her baby. Jacqueline Mercado faced charges of "sexual performance of a child", punishable by up to 20 years imprisonment. The charges have been dropped, though her children remain in the custody of the state. Thank God the authorities are equipped to properly deal with monsters like that, no? (via rotten.com)

breastfeeding paedophilia texas 0