The Null Device

2004/5/12

Meanwhile, Guardian readers debate vital issues, such as whether Narnia and Middle Earth should be permitted to join the EU:

Everyone seems to be forgetting just how inefficient farmers Hobbits are. I can't see them agree to reasonable deal on CAP.
They're not ready for entry. The regulations on wardrobes alone should give them pause and the prospect of being overrun by asylum seekers from Sunderland will undoubtedly sway the vote in favour of 'No'.
Guardian readers would undoubtedly support The evil queen

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In China, where minors are prohibited from entering internet cafes, gangs of net-starved teenagers are assaulting attendants who dare to kick them out.

(The article was published on the website of the Chinese government-controlled newspaper/agency Xinhua; the headlines at the bottom of the page are interesting; a lot of them are scathing, almost al-Qaeda-level criticism of the US in Iraq ("Images that shame US", "Iraq abuse exposes US double standards in human rights"-- ouch!), though between them is "Celine Dion cancels shows due to sprained neck". Is Celine Dion to China what David Hasselhoff was to Germany or something? She seems to be huge over there.

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Another reason to avoid Microsoft operating systems: if your Windows PC gets infected with malware and you're unlucky, you may lose your job, your relationships, or even be convicted as a paedophile, on the strength of pornographic images downloaded into your cache, as happened to one man in the US (or so he claims).

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Fact 1: If you write a CD-RW in packet mode (i.e., if you set it up so that you can write files to it one at a time, rather than burn disc images to it), it is formatted as one long track, and data is somehow written into the middle of this track. Which means that if you put it into a CD player or other device, it sees a disc with one data track of 74 or so minutes' length.

Fact 2: computer-based CD playing/ripping software recognises track titles by matching a profile of track lengths against a large database of titles, artists and track listings. This occasionally comes up with collisions, especially for singles or 1-track CDs. Which can be briefly amusing when it mistakes your favourite band's latest single for a European boy band or a rap-metal action-movie tie-in from 5 years ago or something odd like that.

Conclusion: When it looks at FreeDB, Grip recognises a formatted Verbatim CDRW as "Mi maletn", by the well-known artist "Windows XP".

Oddly enough, one can imagine that in a decade or two's time, there may well be a European retro-pop band named Windows XP. Whether their albums clock in at one 74-minute track is another question altogether.

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