The Null Device
The next radical innovation from Apple is expected to be a two-button mouse. Mass confusion among Mac users expected.
"Jaws will drop," said one insider.
Holbrooke said that, while the living Jackson is the leading suspect in the murder investigation, he "could be another victim of some sort." "Basically, we have no idea what type of creature we are dealing with," Holbrooke said.
Allard said he thinks that the imposter broke ties with Jackson's former friends and surrounded himself with children who were too young to notice the radical change.``
"This is very disturbing news," Gustafson said. "But to be honest, it's kind of a relief too. Thriller and Off The Wall are really amazing records. Now I can pull them out of my 'ruined by child abuse' storage bin and start listening to them again."
A recent post on the Scenestars MP3 blog features Romeo Void's "Never Say Never"; a classic piece of early-80s new-wave dance. If you haven't heard it, check it out.
The good news (or possibly bad news, depending on your point of view): destroying the Earth is a lot harder than you'd think. Nuclear weapons, armageddon, gay marriage and proving that 1=0 will all fail to do anything about the planet still being there and all in one piece. Of course, if you'll settle for merely wiping out much of life on Earth, that's somewhat easier. (via Bruce Schneier)