I swear, I'm not making this up: Satanic teen-rebellion poster-humanoid Marilyn Manson has stated he wants to play Willy Wonka in the upcoming remake of the Chocolate Factory movie. Giving his reason, he says that it's because Willy Wonka represents Satan. Unfortunately for Manson, Warner Bros. have no intention of casting him as Wonka, or anything else for that matter. (Besides, if they wanted to make a goth cult movie, they'd have gotten Tim Burton to direct it.)

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