What the fuck is wrong with country music? Jesus Christ, the biggest selling song is Toby Keith... You look at one of them fuckers like Garth Brooks with his 14-acre field of felt around his head... he's about as country as a fuckin' bag of wet mice. This man with his bullshit country metaphors, he's 4 foot 3 with friends in low places, yes I believe you do you fucking midget, you're in a low place you prick. "The road is like a woman sometimes..."; what the fuck is that? Who needs to hear that, what is he saying? She's been laid over six or seven counties?... Shania Twain, "that don't impress me much". First of all you're Canadian. Anything would impress you and you know it... Look at Patsy Cline, now that was true country music. Every song she sang was about psychotic breakdowns.
As Hank Wangford (gaenocologist Sam Hutt's country persona) used to say: "I've suffered for my music. Now it's your turn."
OK, I have a question. I had Comedy Central and was listening to a promo piece while in another room. They play a bit from Otis Lee Crenshaw's act. It was a joke about a Digital billboard in Times Square that showed the current number of murders. He said that people would shoot someone just to see the number change.
Now, I know I've heard that joke before. I think it was Bill Hicks, but I'm not sure. I wouldn't want to cry theft if it wasn't true. I just have a funny feeling about it.