The Null Device

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

Was the UK's catastrophic loss in the Eurovision contest the result of European resentment of Britain's strong ties to the U.S.? The Graun suggests it might be. But what is Britain (the birthplace of laissez-faire capitalism, spiritual home of the Anglosphere and to America what Greece was to Rome) doing hanging around with those cheese-eating communist surrender monkeys in the first place?

Perhaps this is a clear sign that a closer union between Britain and the E.U. is a bad idea, and Britain (most of whose economy is run from the U.S. anyway) doesn't belong amongst the Euroweenies and should, in the immortal words of Vanilla Ice, ditch the zero and get with the hero: sever its ties with Brussels, make the pound sterling a denomination of the Greenback and seek union with the mainland of America. (Mind you, chances are only the crackpot fringe of the Conservative Party would actually advocate that; Washington certainly wouldn't, as London is useful for relaying orders to Brussels where it is right now. Besides, if Britons got the vote in Congress, they may object to their island being used as a missile shield for the continental 48 states and such, or even push to abolish the death penalty, liberalise drug laws, restrict assault rifle ownership or do other such outlandishly un-American things. 59 million new Americans would tend to skew things quite a bit, and possibly even threaten the Republicans' winning streak.)

There are 8 comments on ""Screw you guys, I'm going home!"":

Posted by: mitch http:// Mon May 26 09:11:52 2003

I think they came last because they were the most tuneless of them all.

Notice how the talking heads of various nationalities emphasized Europe's new cameraderie, during the tallying of televotes? Germany: and we have some votes for our good friend & neighbor, Poland! Cyprus: we have votes for Turkey, isn't peace great! Russia: this has been a fabulous evening organized by our great Baltic neighbor, Latvia! And yet somehow I suspect that the cheers for Turkey from the live audience were all about beating tATU.

Posted by: acb Mon May 26 09:32:38 2003

That too. Maybe some Latvian Tanya Headon vandalised their dressing room?

Posted by: mitch http:// Mon May 26 10:08:07 2003

Sociologist-blogger Kieran Healy's take on Eurovision:

Posted by: Ben the REAL Ben Mon May 26 12:20:56 2003

I hear that most of the US and British ruling class are quietly repatriating all their non-Swiss European holdings and deposits as they are worried they might be siezed in the event of hostilities between the 2 powers.

Posted by: Graham Mon May 26 13:32:57 2003

Notably, 80% of the contestants sung in English. So what does that say?

Posted by: acb Mon May 26 14:29:51 2003

That they relaxed the rules that required songs to be in the country's native language (and that led to those daft nonsense choruses that were a Eurovision stable for decades).

Btw, it's not English, it's International American.

Posted by: devils chewtoy http:// Mon Jun 2 00:28:19 2003

I'd like to point out that, contrary to all fervent hopes, that pop music is essentially dead. The hype of TNBT has gotten completely nauseating to anyone around long enough to remember whatshisname. There are pop stars trying to get into space, for christs sake!

As for Brittons standing up for principle, more power to them, be they more in tune with the Americans or not, there is more to being a <i>legitimate democracy</i>, than bending and compromising your principles.

The point was that there was more to that war than empire building. Give it time and stop the hand wringing. Thank god that the whole world has not gotten spineless over democracy and freedom like the pathetic music industry. Although, if you took the hype of 'the next big thing' seriously, then you could imagine all sorts of BS about whether democracy as a concept was worth living.

Posted by: Ben the REAL Ben Mon Jun 2 01:39:27 2003

Why don't you go and address a crowd of starving and injured Afghans and see how much they appreciate your hyping of 'dumb-ox-racy'.