The Null Device

EMI: 0, The Thieving Public: 1

Even after EMI's herculaean effort to keep the new album from schmaltz-rockers Coldplay off the net (giving it to reviewers as "The Fir Trees", routinely searching pressing-plant employees, sending nastygrams to student radio stations), the terrorists pirates have already won. Mind you, the fact that EMI's goons couldn't routinely strip-search the entire population of Japan, where the album was released shortly before ending up on the file-sharing networks, probably had something to do with it. Oops!

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