The Null Device

Awkward Interloper of the Realm

Christmas Day With My New Girlfriend's Family As A Circa-1982 Text-Based Computer Adventure Game:

> INVENTORY

You are carrying:

A cell phone with a message from your friends Dave and Paul telling you what a fun time they're having in the Bahamas

A slowly coalescing escape plan

A piece of ham

Resentment toward Emily for persuading you that visiting her parents at Christmas would be "totally fun"

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