The Null Device

X is essentially Y only Z

A lengthy compedium of essentialist explanations of various languages:
English is essentially bad Dutch with outrageously pronounced French and Latin vocabulary. --Eugene Holman
Australian English is essentially Cockney without the refinement. -- Öjevind Lâng
Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are actually the same language. It's just that the Norwegians can't spell it, and the Danes can't pronounce it. --Chlewey
Yiddish is essentially the Ebonics of German. --submanifold
Dutch is essentially English spoken whilst stoned, which pretty much explains all the double vowels --Keith Gaughan
French is essentially a language that elides everything that doesn't get out of the way fast enough, and nasalises everything else. --Peter Bleackley
Brazilian is essentially a conlang created by people who wanted to have sex all the time, but still be able to talk about everyday things. --alleszermalmer
Romanian is essentially a Romance language trying really hard to blend in with the Slavic languages around it. --Jesse S. Bangs
Romanian is essentially French pronounced as written. --Christian Thalmann
German and Polish are essentially the same, only there are too many "ß"s in Leftoderian writing, and too many "z"s in Rightoderian. --Andreas Johansson
Breton is essentially Welsh with all the consonants changed to "z". --Thomas Leigh
Welsh is essentially the only language that can have four consecutive L's. --Danny Weir
Star Trek is essentially a religion for secular humanists, and Klingon is its Latin. --Jeffrey Henning

There are 3 comments on "X is essentially Y only Z":

Posted by: steff Tue Aug 30 12:43:45 2005

Sorry, this comment is off-topic. You've recommended a place before where I might get hold of Slowdive, Blind Mr. Jones and Field Mice, can't seem to find the url anymore. Would you post it again, pls?

Posted by: acb Tue Aug 30 13:53:49 2005

I've never heard of Blind Mr. Jones. As for the other two, you can find CDs for sale at Amazon and other outlets.

Posted by: steff Wed Aug 31 00:23:40 2005

Ok, sorry, didn't make myself clear enough. You recommended an online store here in Australia. Blind Mr. Jones are not dissimilar to Slowdive, male vocals only though.

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