The Null Device

Posts matching tags 'mcsweeneys'

2008/8/21

New from McSweeney's: Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter:

Caramel Chew:
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.
Toffee Nugget:
Few men dare ask the question "What is toffee, exactly?" All those who have investigated this substance are now either dead or insane.

(via Wired) humour lovecraft mcsweeneys 0 Share

2008/5/16

Yiddish spam titles. (Well, Yinglish, to be precise, but still amusing:)

Do shiksas heckle your schmeckel?

XXX ... Yenta noshes on pisher's trayf blintz! Hot!

Take this and you'll need another bris!

If they have the internet in the world of The Yiddish Policemen's Union, the mailboxes would probably be full of subject lines like these.

Also in McSweeney's Lists: Brews to Accessorise the Modern Hipster ("I Don't Really Like This but I'm Drinking It to Get Back at My Parents and/or Friends With an Overt and Crass Display of Being Cultured Lambic", "Rummage Sale Pale Ale"), and Phrases Commonly Used By 1950s Housewives That Were Often Misinterpreted As Blatant Requests For Sex.

(via McSweeney's) 1950s hipsters humour jewish mcsweeneys sex spam stereotypes yiddish 0 Share

2005/6/1

Christmas Day With My New Girlfriend's Family As A Circa-1982 Text-Based Computer Adventure Game:

> INVENTORY

You are carrying:

A cell phone with a message from your friends Dave and Paul telling you what a fun time they're having in the Bahamas

A slowly coalescing escape plan

A piece of ham

Resentment toward Emily for persuading you that visiting her parents at Christmas would be "totally fun"

(via substitute) fiction humour interactive fiction mcsweeneys 0 Share

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