psychoceramics: Fwd: IUFO: Diana abducted by Aliens

["Johannes Scmidt" <redskul @ hotmail.com>]

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[The following is Copyright (c) Sept 18th, 1997 by Dave Pigott. You ay
>forward this but only with the inclusion of this copyright notice.]

Following the news that Parisian police investigators have found the 
tail
light and part of the rear bumper of a Fiat Uno in the wreckage of the
crash in the Pont d'Alma, it is fairly obvious what happened, when one
takes all the other details that have been leaked to us over the last 
two weeks.

Let's look at the facts, as we know them:

(1) Diana said a few weeks ago that she was about to make an 
announcement
that would shock the press. The next day she denied ever having said 
such a
thing.

Obviously the Diana who spoke on the Sunday was NOT THE SAME as the one 
who
spoke on the Monday. Obviously she was abducted overnight, and replaced
with an Alien duplicate from the planet UMMO.

(2) We are told that the M280 was pursued by 9 paparazzi, and one
discredited witness mentioned a car cutting them up.

We now find that this was part of a disinformation campaign. Among the
paparazzi was the alien's own bodyguards, because the alien Diana who 
was
also the original Roman goddess; aliens live a long time) was in fact 
the
daughter of Grand Ruler Slrgthgz of UMMO. They were there so that they
could rescue her from the planned crash and return her to Sthqyahs, the
capital of UMMO.

(3) Henri Paul, the chauffeur, was so sober that he hadn't had a drink
since 10 years before he was born.

The quantities of liquor he was seen imbibing in five different bars on 
the
evening were in fact special hormone replacements for his alien 
metabolism.
(Obvious: The aliens who organised this had to have someone on the 
inside.)

(4) Dodi is such a patently ridiculous name for a grown up, that he was
obviously the Crown Prince Doh-a-Dear of the Tralfamadorian empire, and 
the
whole plan was to form an alliance of the two great interstellar states 
by
their mariiage.

(5) The ring that "Dodi" had made was in fact a matter transporter.

(6) The car that clipped them had a strangely formed "H" on the roof, 
thus
giving planet UMMO away as the origin. (This bit isn't known yet, I just
made it up, but I'll bet it will turn out to be true.) The reason it 
wasn't
seen at the scene of the "accident" is that it was cloaked with liquid
crystal manipulated by special holographic equipment maintained at Area 
51.

(7) Romuald Rat, the paparazzo who held Diana's hand and talked to her 
was
in fact activating the matter transporter, which then swopped the alien
Diana with a vat grown clone that was prepared after Diana was 
"exchanged"
some weeks before.

Romuald Rat is, again, such a ridiculous name that it is obviously not 
made
up and is the real name of the alien bodyguard from UMMO.

(8) Rees-Jones, the bodyguard in the car (and a member of a famous 
British
comedy duo), was obviously in on it, and was also beamed up. They put
another accelereducated clone in his place, and the doctors have been
fighting, not to save his life, but to build his face so that it looks 
like
the original.

(9) Diana, Dodi and their alien doubles are sipping alien doubles on the
beaches of Broo 'er Drupe, in the Skank system.

(10) We find the following in Nostradamus:

XVIII.CMCLXVI (Twentieth Century Fox)

"And two beings of ummorigin are found
In the carriage of artificer benz
And a load of aliens did it all
Honest they did."

(11) This is all true.

Dave

"I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh 
t."



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