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[Fwd: [Fwd: psychoceramics: Edward C]

I forwarded the original to a friend of mine (Dave Avery)
This is his edit...

-- BEGIN included message

5...4...3...2...1... we enter the Theatre


>THIS IS BEING SUBMMITED TO MANY INDIVIUALS, AND ORGANIZATIONS. IT IS NOT
>SUBMITTED AS AN INTENDED OFFENSE TOWARD ANY ONE INDIVIDUAL, OR OGANIZATION,

TOM:But rather as an offense to all peoples everywhere

>BUT RATHER, TO BE INFORMATIVE OF ANOTHER VIEW OF BIBICAL CREATION.

MIKE:Bibical Creation, Inventor of the Salted Nut Roll

>TO CREATIONIST AND EVOLUTIONIST

CROW:Too creationist and evolutionist for what?

>1- You are both looking at man through the physical eye.

MIKE:No, I'm not!
CROW:You are looking at sold out LAM-Beau field!
TOM:Both? Which two of us is he talking to?

>2- Man is not the physical but rather the spiritual. The body is material
>and what we call a bio-structure. A bio-structure cannot be spiritual.

TOM:Men have no bodies.
CROW:Sounds like the Observers.

>3- The anthropologist cannot prove the origin of man from biostructures as
>a dead body contains no spiritual makeup, and man is a spiritual makeup.

TOM:So, man is a makeup.
CROW:Some sort of lipstick... probably taupe.

>4- The creationist is the most wrong in the fact that christianity is
>supposed to be an understanding and the knowledge of what makes one human
>regardless of where or when a body came to be.

MIKE:Dumb Christians, they don't know nuthin about Christianity.

>And the knowledge of human
>cannot be of the physical, as human is one of the two sets of values in the
>makeup of God, and the makeup of God is the mentalities of human and
>inhuman (man and animal).

TOM:Does it actually say that or am I freaking out?
CROW:So, God wears makeup. Whaddya know.

>FIRST THERE WAS THE PHYSICAL AND THEN THE SPIRITUAL (apostles)

CROW:And then WE DANCE!

>1- at one time the universe contained one thing

TOM:Hamdingers!
MIKE:Bubble wrap!
CROW:Pauly Shore!

>, material.

CROW:Oh... well, I was close.

>2- The material became divided into solids, liquids and gases.

TOM:And thus Jello 1-2-3 was born

>3- From the solids, liquids and gases formed bio-chemicals.

MIKE:Later re-named "ABBA"

>4- The bio-chemicals formed two bio-forms, the inanimate (plants),

TOM:Wait? Plants aren't alive?
CROW:Somebody better tell 'em.

>and the animate (that which has self movement).

MIKE:So, the universe is populated by plants and watches.
CROW:Apparently.

>5- The inanimates and the animates became into many forms, and the animates
>divided onto basic two kinds, the predeter and the grazer.

TOM:'Predeter'?
MIKE:A predeter is someone who deters you in advance.
CROW:I thought it was when you had sex before going out.
TOM:No, that's a pre-dater.
CROW:Oh, so what the hell's a 'grazer' then?
MIKE:I think they put in windows.
CROW:I am so lost.
MIKE:Just eat your BLT.

>6- At the time during the forming of the animates there also formed a
>brain, and within the brain was formed a being of the spiritual, and then
>the universe contained only two things, the material and the spiritual.
>Even to this very day the universe contains only two things, the material
>and the spiritual and nothing else.

MIKE:D'Oh! Hey! But there are three things right here in the theatre!
CROW:Apparently we're figments of our own imaginations.

>7- When a being is formed it is formed in all things humane and inhumane in
>one singular entity. From the humane is man and from the inhumane is the
>animal.

TOM:You see when a man and an animal love each other very much...

>8- And it became that the power of comprehension came upon a certain kinds,
>and from the comprehension they became enlightened and began to understand
>the makeup of their spirit (person)

MIKE:This guy sure is into makeup.
TOM:And no mention of women anywhere...
CROW:Makes you wonder.

>9- And according to their enlightenment they saw the contents of their
>persons,

MIKE:Somebody get the sawdust.
CROW:So 'enlightenment' means tossing cookies, am I right?

>and elected to put aside the part that was the animal mind,

TOM:So that it could be used later

>and in so doing became man. This very process is what is creation in the
>bible.

MIKE:Yeah... in the Book of Donald Duck!
CROW:Right after the part about spacefaring lizards.
TOM:Donald Duck is a wholely owned copyright of Michael Eisner and the
Disney Corporation...

>10- It is submited to you by the Alpha Guardians

CROW:Those are the guys with the berets, right?
TOM [Big voice]:ALPHA GUARDIANS... now with kung-fu grip.
MIKE:We're getting spiritual advice from Mexican wrestlers!

>that creation in the bible is not the making of anything material. Creation
>is the making of adam

MIKE:Who didn't have a body.
CROW:Mike, are you following this?

>and is the seven spirits of God. God made man in his own image and likness
>and god is spiritual therefore man is spiritual. And christianity is
>supposed to return one's person to the likeness of adam

TOM:And that's why everyone's person looks exactly the same.
MIKE:Among Christians anyway.

>as christ is adam the second

CROW:One adam second, one adam second, see the man at the intersection of
two wooden planks.
MIKE:I... no... I don't think you should...

>thus making christ and adam one and the same kind of person.

TOM:AH-HA! So, the murderer is Professor Plum!

>(The apostle mentions) THOSE INVISIBLE THINGS OF CREATION WHICH CAN BE
>CLEARLY SEEN.

CROW:Oh, so it's the invisible things which can be clearly seen. Great. Just
great.

>If creation is invisible then it is spiritual

MIKE:Okay, so invisible things are spiritual?
CROW:Only if they're seen clearly.
TOM:What about foot odor?

>as the spiritual cannot be directly seen by the physical eye.

CROW:But you just said it can be clearly seen!!!
MIKE:Calm down, honey, we're almost at granma's.

>11- There are only two possible ways of being in the universe, man or
>animal.

TOM:Okay, let's review, rocks, plants and women do not exist.
CROW:And God wears makeup.
MIKE:It's the Gospel according to Dennis Rodman!

>12- Man and/or animal are nothing more than a relationship

TOM:That's sick!
MIKE:That is so... so... wrong.
CROW:What are YOU talking about... NELSON?
MIKE:Wha... Hey!

>each of it's own kind with others.
>It cannot be a kind of body. The bodies of an elephant
>and a monkey are different but the spirit is the same,

CROW:Yeah, elephants and monkeys are exactly the same.
TOM:Wait, I thought nothing had a body.
MIKE:No, men don't have bodies.

>what makes them
>animals is that their social structure is of animal traits, so as,
>domination, superiorty, recognition through the physical and material,
>force and counterforce, greaters and lessors.

MIKE:thrust and release
TOM:Cathy and Patty
CROW:Strom Thurmond and Chewbacca

>13- There are only two possible kinds of societies, man and animal.

TOM:And communists.

>14- Intellegence and comprehension are not human or animal traits,

CROW:"Intellegence"?
MIKE:Pretty much says it all right there, don't it.
CROW:Yeah, sure does.

>but rather a neutral compulatory process that can be applied to either or
>both. 15- Intellegence is not a human society.

MIKE:It ain't no disco, it ain't no foolin' around
TOM:'Nuetral compulatory'?
CROW:Mooooon Ri-ver.

>16- All present societies on the planet today are constructed on animal
>traits.

TOM:And that's why there are no human societies.
MIKE:I would have thought otherwise but...
CROW:Huh. Yeah, there's no getting around it. Whaddya know.
MIKE:I suppose.
TOM:So, can we go now?

>CREATION

CROW:Hey! I thought we just did that!
TOM:It isn't starting again is it?
MIKE:I sure I hope not.

>1- In the begining God created the Spirit and the soul, and the soul was
>without form and void (not formed as man) and ignorance was upon the face
>of the mind, and the power of God stirred upon the mind and god said let
>there enlightenment And they became enlightened. and god saw the
>enlightenment that it was good, and God called the light understanding,

TOM:Oh no! It IS starting again. [sobs]
MIKE:And it's contradicting everything it said before!
CROW:I wanna see the manager! Hello? Can I get some help here?!

>and the knowledge of man and animal was the first knowing.

TOM:Oh god! [sobs more]
CROW:This guy seems to have something on his mind...

>2- And god said let there be a condition

MIKE:And, lo, there was a stipulation!
CROW:Look thee upon my holiest of codosils and despair!

>in the midst of the mind, and let
>it divide one state of mind from the other state of mind,

TOM:And thus the Twin Cities were born.

>and God set the conditions and divided the mind which was under the
>conditions (man) from the condition which is above the conditions (animal
>mentality)

TOM:Igadaigadaigadah

>and it wasso.

MIKE:And it wasso?
CROW:That's the condition above the condition of having no conditions.
MIKE:Oooooh.

>And God called the conditions happiness, and the knowledge of man and
>animal was the second knowing.

TOM:He said it again!
CROW:Sounds like the Nelson family reunion.
MIKE:Would... you... stop... that
CROW:Ow! Don't hit!

>3- And god said, let the human mentality be gathered into one
>understanding,

TOM:And thus URKEL was born!

>and let belief be so, and God called the belief human soul

CROW:And thus JAMES BROWN was born!

>and the gathering together of the mind he called knowledge (the knowing of
>human traits), and god said let the soul bring forth humility, and all good
>things of man, and let man be tall above all other beings.

MIKE:And thus JEFF GOLDBLUM was born!

>4- And God said, let the knowledge of being man divide the enlightenment
>from the ignorance,

CROW:That's why there's that curtain on airplanes.
TOM:I thought the Renaissance divided the Enlightenment from the Ignorance.

>and God made the enlightenment to control ones-self in the likeness of the
>humane and let it rule over the animal.

TOM:Mike, I've always admired the way you control ones-self in the likeness
of the humane.
CROW:Yeah, can't be easy.
MIKE:Um... thanks... I guess.

>5- And god said,

CROW:Who's God talking to anyway?
TOM:Mike Ditka.
CROW:Really?

>let the mind bring forth great emotioms

MIKE:And thus Imodium AD was born.

>(love) and thought
>and let good will abound amidst mankind, and let thoughts multilpy to calm
>the soul.

TOM:There was then four thousand years of continuous war.
CROW:Followed by a Marylin Manson concert.

>6- And god said let us

MIKE:Us? God's an us?
TOM:God's a corporation, Mike.
CROW:Godco, a division of Microsoft.

>make man in our image and likeness and let him have
>dominion over his thoughts and feelings and emotions.and it was so.

MIKE:Every man was made master of his own domain.
CROW:For as long as he could hold out.
TOM:Oh no! There's JFK Jr!

>7- And when man was complete he was at rest (peace of mind).(he was no
>longer animal).

MIKE:So, people only exist while they're sleeping...?

>In true christianity there is no argument in physical terms,

TOM:Yeah. Right. No Christian has ever argued with anyone.

>you are all persueing a course of no result.

CROW [As Ladka]:You are so stupid!

>No one will be saved on account of the
>fact that dinosaurs are this or that,

MIKE:Wait! Dinosaurs ARE?!?
CROW:This just in:No one gets into Heaven! Dinosaurs are This and That!
MIKE:OH! Now it makes sense.
CROW:Glad I could clear that up for you.

>or when they were or weren't, the
>bible is information of spiritual nature and it's condition not the
>physical condition.

MIKE:So, now the Bible doesn't exist.
TOM:Then what are all those things in hotel rooms?
CROW:I dunno. Mints?
TOM:Shouldn't they be on the pillows?

>Your arguments are evidence that you only care to discern the material not
>the spiritual.

MIKE:What arguments?! You started all this.
TOM:Oh my god! He can hear us!
CROW:AHHH!!! RUN!

>Christianity is a return to "being" man rather than animal
>which happened in the fall of man. If there are only two possible
>mentalities (man and animal) then the fall of man can only be a return to
>animal relations between one another

CROW:Again with the animal relations!
TOM:Mike, you sure this guy ain't related to you?
MIKE:I don't think so... HEY!

>as is evedent

MIKE:Evedent?
CROW:New Evedent, denture cream for women!

>to this day. You are all
>to much into body,

MIKE:Well, you've got us there.
CROW:Thats for sure.
TOM:Into the Body? Jesse Ventura?
CROW:What?

>there can be no such thing as a human body, only the
>spiritual can be human.

MIKE:Would you... oh... if we have no bodies how can we be into them!?
CROW:I'm so glad I'm a robot.

>The above statements are partial excerpts from of the ALPHA SUMMARY, and
>may not reflect it's precise contents.

MIKE:Any resemblence to people living or sane is purely coincidental.
TOM:Offer void in Tennessee.
CROW:Sponsered by NAMALA, the National Man-Animal Love Association.
MIKE:Some settling may occur in shipping.
TOM:Please keep away from small children or open flames.
CROW:Yeah. Good luck keeping this away from open flames.

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