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psychoceramics: [Fwd: ] What the f...?!?

Oy. I get the strangest email in responce to my webpage
(http://drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu/~pooh).

Now, while normally I get emailed from nimrods who read the document telling how
'Hiroshima was never bombed', nimrods who miss 1) it's in my humor section, 2) the link
says 'a spoof based on Holocaust revisionists', and 3) that at the end of a document is
an explanation of why the document is so screwy and why it's wrong

Anyway. enough about my troubles. I also get vampires and other weirdies occasionally.
Which brings me to...

---


peebles wrote:

> Some simple logic! Don't be a fool! Of course real magic exsits! Did you
> think that someone just made it up? No!  *Sigh*
>         I have respect for what you have been trying to do, that is, finding out if
> real magic exsits. And, that is, it does. It just doesn't come to all the people
> who want it.
>         Magic doesn't come by the blood line, it comes to people that least expect
> it. If a person is is greedy for that power, then, naturally, they won't get
> it.
>         The thing is, you have to be the right kind of person to recieve that magic.
> You can't be rich, or powerfull. You can't be a brave warrior or general
> that has gotten tons of medels and honors. Even if you belong to a church,
> and if you are a priest of the faith, then you don't have much of a chance.
>         The people who most often get the power of magic are the poeple who are
> humble, are not greedy, have a pure heart, belives in everything that is
> right, and DOES NOT LOOK for the magic.
>         If a person wants magic, and looks for it, then they will be looking for a
> loooong time! The person doesn't search for the magic, it searches for
> them. Usuly only one Wizard is promoted every 2 decades. But before that,
> they have to agree to use the magic. You see, the magic doesn't go  to people
> who want it, or has even given much thought about it. It likes to take the
> suprise.
>         Before going into wizardry, you must be taken into teaching on your 16'th
> birthday. Taken away from your home, your family, everything that you
> own and love. That is a first test. The magic does not force you. It
> understands.  You see, magic is not something solid, that an odinary person
> can feel, or touch. That can only happen if you are taken into training to
> become a wizard. But, believe it or not, the magic is all around us. In the
> very rooms that we sleep in at night. We breath in  that magic, yet, we
> don't even know that we are bathing in the most glorious ligh tof the
> universe. No one knows. No one cares. No one believes.
>         The second test is training the soon_to_be_wizard in the arts of tourture.
> If may sound a little hard, but it must be done. Wizards are supposed to be
> merceless when it comes to something hard. That is why they are hung
> from the celeing in chains for days, tortured with a hot poker that never
> looses it's heat. Ever. For a week this will go on. You are not allowed to
> sleep. To eat. To talk. To speak. You are not even aloud to scream and beg for
> mercy. To try to let the magic let you go home. No. Once you are trapped in
> the magic, and agreed to it, you can never back out of it. Never. Ether you
> can go on with the training, or die. My advice, go on with the training.
>         After the torture, you are forced to keep your eyes open while 3 of your
> family members are exicuted. This is also a test. To see if you can take it
> without falling to your knees, crying, begging to let them go. Then, you are
> later told, if you pass the test, that it was a holigram.  Which it is.
>         After, you must be kept locked up in a room with out food. Only a stack of
> magic books. You must read the 3 stacks of books, with out sleeping, no
> matter how long it takes you. YOu must read each spell carefully, and
> memorize it. There are no words to magic. Only hand movements, your
> brain, and the magic, nothing more. When you are finished, you must
> remember the spell to open doors. That is only way to get out. If you don't,
> you have to read ALL the books over again. This goes on until you can open
> the door.
>         After this, you are finished all the tests. You are a real wizard. The
> training takes about 30 years if you are dumb, and about 10 years of you
> are smart. The avrage person gets it done in about 25 years. As you can
> well see, it is not at all that easy.
>         When you become a wizard, several things happen.
> 1.- You must change your religon to Ittacan.That is the only way to contain
> your power. You must sacrifice a snake to The Queen of Magic. She requires
> their blood to survive. (You can see that they are not clearly immortal)
> 2.- You are forced to wander. Sell your services to NO ONE! If you do, than
> your power will be taken away from you forever. There is only one person
> that you can sell your services to. That is the poor and needy, and the
> wizard that you must teach when the time comes to take your place.  Sell
> your services to the rich, and you will die by torture.
> 3.- You must teach a young _soon_to_be wizard.  That way, there will be a
> wizard always. You will live at least 2 decades as an immortal. That is
> when you are a wizard of the new order. After that, you are just a wizard of
> the old order.  By then, the magic will have chosen one for you.
>
>          The only people who have magic are Wizards, and the magic itself.  THe
> magic has no spicific gender, but if it wants to talk, it usuly takes place in
> the fourm of a plain woman. The magic likes the gender. Thinks that they
> are intelligent, not so much greedy.
> You must never have a mate. If you ever lie in bed with another, then your
> power will never be restored.
> The magic has pain, also. It can only be regenerated every 2 hours. If you
> use it befor 2 hours is up, the it will cause great pain, and take years off
> your life.
> When you are about to die, then you must sacrifice yourself to the Queen of
> Magic. This is for being aloud to have the power, to show your graditude. It
> is also part of the training. Yor apprentice must watch.
>
> That is all. I hope you learn what is in this. That you are very close to the
> magic, but it all to easily slips out of your grasp.  You will never have it,
> once you have given thought about it. I'm sorry.

 -Will
[Just color me bemused]

-- BEGIN included message

Some simple logic! Don't be a fool! Of course real magic exsits! Did you 
think that someone just made it up? No!  *Sigh*
	I have respect for what you have been trying to do, that is, finding out if 
real magic exsits. And, that is, it does. It just doesn't come to all the people 
who want it. 
	Magic doesn't come by the blood line, it comes to people that least expect 
it. If a person is is greedy for that power, then, naturally, they won't get 
it. 
	The thing is, you have to be the right kind of person to recieve that magic. 
You can't be rich, or powerfull. You can't be a brave warrior or general 
that has gotten tons of medels and honors. Even if you belong to a church, 
and if you are a priest of the faith, then you don't have much of a chance. 
	The people who most often get the power of magic are the poeple who are 
humble, are not greedy, have a pure heart, belives in everything that is 
right, and DOES NOT LOOK for the magic. 
	If a person wants magic, and looks for it, then they will be looking for a 
loooong time! The person doesn't search for the magic, it searches for 
them. Usuly only one Wizard is promoted every 2 decades. But before that, 
they have to agree to use the magic. You see, the magic doesn't go  to people 
who want it, or has even given much thought about it. It likes to take the 
suprise. 
	Before going into wizardry, you must be taken into teaching on your 16'th 
birthday. Taken away from your home, your family, everything that you 
own and love. That is a first test. The magic does not force you. It 
understands.  You see, magic is not something solid, that an odinary person 
can feel, or touch. That can only happen if you are taken into training to 
become a wizard. But, believe it or not, the magic is all around us. In the 
very rooms that we sleep in at night. We breath in  that magic, yet, we 
don't even know that we are bathing in the most glorious ligh tof the 
universe. No one knows. No one cares. No one believes. 
	The second test is training the soon_to_be_wizard in the arts of tourture. 
If may sound a little hard, but it must be done. Wizards are supposed to be 
merceless when it comes to something hard. That is why they are hung 
from the celeing in chains for days, tortured with a hot poker that never 
looses it's heat. Ever. For a week this will go on. You are not allowed to 
sleep. To eat. To talk. To speak. You are not even aloud to scream and beg for 
mercy. To try to let the magic let you go home. No. Once you are trapped in 
the magic, and agreed to it, you can never back out of it. Never. Ether you 
can go on with the training, or die. My advice, go on with the training. 
	After the torture, you are forced to keep your eyes open while 3 of your 
family members are exicuted. This is also a test. To see if you can take it 
without falling to your knees, crying, begging to let them go. Then, you are 
later told, if you pass the test, that it was a holigram.  Which it is. 
	After, you must be kept locked up in a room with out food. Only a stack of 
magic books. You must read the 3 stacks of books, with out sleeping, no 
matter how long it takes you. YOu must read each spell carefully, and 
memorize it. There are no words to magic. Only hand movements, your 
brain, and the magic, nothing more. When you are finished, you must 
remember the spell to open doors. That is only way to get out. If you don't, 
you have to read ALL the books over again. This goes on until you can open 
the door. 
	After this, you are finished all the tests. You are a real wizard. The 
training takes about 30 years if you are dumb, and about 10 years of you 
are smart. The avrage person gets it done in about 25 years. As you can 
well see, it is not at all that easy. 
	When you become a wizard, several things happen.  
1.- You must change your religon to Ittacan.That is the only way to contain 
your power. You must sacrifice a snake to The Queen of Magic. She requires 
their blood to survive. (You can see that they are not clearly immortal)
2.- You are forced to wander. Sell your services to NO ONE! If you do, than 
your power will be taken away from you forever. There is only one person 
that you can sell your services to. That is the poor and needy, and the 
wizard that you must teach when the time comes to take your place.  Sell 
your services to the rich, and you will die by torture. 
3.- You must teach a young _soon_to_be wizard.  That way, there will be a 
wizard always. You will live at least 2 decades as an immortal. That is 
when you are a wizard of the new order. After that, you are just a wizard of 
the old order.  By then, the magic will have chosen one for you. 

	 The only people who have magic are Wizards, and the magic itself.  THe 
magic has no spicific gender, but if it wants to talk, it usuly takes place in 
the fourm of a plain woman. The magic likes the gender. Thinks that they 
are intelligent, not so much greedy. 
You must never have a mate. If you ever lie in bed with another, then your 
power will never be restored.
The magic has pain, also. It can only be regenerated every 2 hours. If you 
use it befor 2 hours is up, the it will cause great pain, and take years off 
your life. 
When you are about to die, then you must sacrifice yourself to the Queen of 
Magic. This is for being aloud to have the power, to show your graditude. It 
is also part of the training. Yor apprentice must watch. 

That is all. I hope you learn what is in this. That you are very close to the 
magic, but it all to easily slips out of your grasp.  You will never have it, 
once you have given thought about it. I'm sorry.

-- END included message