The following was posted to USENET by one Jeffrey Allen Kassel.
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Suggestions:

Whenever you speak to anyone face to face (the best way), just start
pointing to your eye whenever you feel compelled to use that non-word
pseudo-personal pronoun "I".  Whenever you are not face to face, use the
proper pronoun, ME (short for MY EYE).  For example: Me thinks.  Me
sees.  Me says.

Whenever you speak to anyone face to face (the best way), just start
pointing to your nose whenever you feel compelled to use that non-word
pseudo-verb to "know".  Whenever not face to face, start to use the
expression, BY MY NOSE.  For example:  By my nose, everybody knows this
is nowhere, Neil.

Whenever you speak to anyone face to face (the best way), just start
raising two fingers (your choice of which ones) whenever you feel
compelled to use that non-word "true".  Whenever not face to face, start
to use the expression, BEST TWO OUT OF THREE.  For example:  Best two
out of three, everybody knows this is nowhere, so kneel instead of duck,
because nothing’s going to hit you.

My opinions:

"I" is a misunderstanding, an error in translation, a typo, a mistake.

"Know" is a misunderstanding, an error in translation, a type, a
mistake.

"Truth" is a misunderstanding, an error in translation, a typo, a
mistake.

"God" is also a misunderstanding, an error in translation, a typo, a
mistake.

Another suggestion:

Whenever you think of the name you would use for your special view of a
"God", start to think, and speak with the properly spelled noun meaning
GOODNESS.  For example:

God?  Use GOOD as in good is as good does.

Lord?  Use LARD as in the fat of the land.

Christ?  Use CRY-EST as in one who cries the most around here.

Allah?  Use A LA as in a la la la la la la la la.

Jehovah?  Use YOU HAVE A as in you have a good point to make.

God?  Use DOG as in dog, go do it (doggone it).

Generic:  Use SWEET NOTHING as in my eye sees you, you beautiful sweet
nothing.

Non-English equivalents are available upon request.

Jeff

P.S.  Graphic version attached.  Note:  All characters portrayed are the
property of time warner.  Note:  All names have been changed to protect
the ignorant.
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