The Null Device
Well, Im there right now and I can tell you that its a whole bunch of crap, for certain. I just buried my fourth wife for starters. I lost my first Katherine to complications of childbirth, the second Katherine to the plague, Jane to childbirth and for the love of God, the doctor has no idea what killed my third Katherine, though he does think its no coincidence that she was in childbirth.
And all this crap with the jousting? Jousting? Ive been to one damn joust my whole life, and it was only because I thought I might have a chance to grab some royalty aside and get my heretic brothers death sentence commuted. You think we all just sit around jousting all day? Were too busy coughing up blood, believe you me. And if not that, were scrambling around trying to figure out why the Good Lord chose to set fire to the warehouse. Ive had a blister for eight years. My aunts a leper. I sleep near a goat. Go to hell, Medieval fans.