The Null Device
2008/8/21
New from McSweeney's: Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter:
Caramel Chew:
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.
Toffee Nugget:
Few men dare ask the question "What is toffee, exactly?" All those who have investigated this substance are now either dead or insane.
The latest trend in spam seems to be incoherently bizarre headlines mentioning Britney Spears, and promising videos:
Britney vagina transplant to erase fools' memory syndromePresumably they're aiming for the same demographic that would download files named "enraged baboon fucking a nipple factory".
Britney heartbroken as Diana's Butler beds Winehouse
Britney Spears has Fanny Magnets Grafted in to Attract Papparazzi
Britney sues vagina for divorce
This seems to have started two days ago; before that, there was a brief burst of Angelina Jolie-related spam, following on from a number of "Weekly top news" headlines like "sperm-flavored cocaine all the rage in LA" (which sounds like they got Warren Ellis in as a copywriter).