The Null Device

The Man on the American Street

From the most recent Onion: If Al-Qaeda Had A Hockey Team, We'd Kick Its Ass:
Can you imagine? It'd be so sweet. We'd have the advantage before the puck even dropped. First of all, they'd be from the Middle East, which is no hockey powerhouse. I'll bet their ice always melts down before the game's even over. Plus, their rink would probably be all bombed out. Or it'd be in a tent or something. And you know al-Qaeda's hockey uniforms would be totally ugly, with stupid colors and all kinds of Allah shit all over them. The jerseys would have those big long Ramalama bin Dingdong names on the back, and those Arabic numbers they use over there.
So, of course, then we'd get the power play. And face it, at that point, the game's pretty much over for them. They have to ask the crowd to stop chanting "USA! USA! USA!" But guess what, man? We ain't gonna stop! So al-Qaeda pulls their goalie, and while they're trying for the extra-man goal in garbage time to save face, they fail to notice one important detail: the Navy SEALs coming down from the ceilings and walls to capture everyone on the al-Qaeda bench. 'Cause there's no way we're letting those half-assed-hockey-playing terrorist bastards just waltz out the door. And that's how the greatest hockey game in history would end.

There are 4 comments on "The Man on the American Street":

Posted by: Nostradamus http:// Fri Feb 27 18:36:57 2004

Thats fucking right. Hahahahaha

Posted by: Jungle http:// Sun Feb 29 12:07:24 2004

Yea, I hate those Arabic numerals, and the concept of zero, algebra, astronomy the beginnings of modern medicine and especially, the distillation of alcohol.

Posted by: Ryan http:// Tue Mar 2 13:29:05 2004

The arabs invented alchohol?

Posted by: Graham Wed Mar 3 13:17:55 2004

What language is the name reminiscent of?

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