The Null Device

Tales from the Personals page

Conrad Heiney, who worked in a Los Angeles newspaper during the 1980s, recounts stories from the personals department:
At first a couple of the women in the production department put in their own personals. This is how we discovered that the same guys send the same letter and the same picture to any woman who advertises at any time, ever. After a few weeks of this we had a "Wall of Shame" in the production room with ten in a row of the same 8x10 glossies and lovelorn notes. The pictures were real "keepers". I remember one gentleman in a cowboy hat and Speedos in front of his trailer, and another with a Tom Selleck moustache and a combover leaning on a Mercedes. That kind of thing.
And this was born the Great Personals Competition. Anyone who wanted could enter, and write their own fake ad. Whomever received the most responses in the first week won.
I don't remember most of the ads. I do remember the top two. #2 was courtesy our classifieds guy's girlfriend:
Buxom blonde twins, 19, seek man for threesome. Pillow fights, tickling, and whatever else follows. Age, looks not important.

What is it about sexual desperation that makes for such a rich motherlode of comedy gold?

There are 4 comments on "Tales from the Personals page":

Posted by: dj Tue Mar 8 02:13:09 2005

It seems that when it comes to sex, there are many people willing to turn off all forms of realistic self-appraisal and analysis and put their most unvarnished self out there for what they in their heart or hearts (or loin of loins) trust will be the solution to their unfulfilled desires. Kinda like the fleshly version of gaming machines.

Posted by: fellaroo http:// Tue Mar 8 23:17:57 2005

and people take sex too serious.

Posted by: acb Wed Mar 9 08:51:24 2005

People and all other organisms from amoebas onwards.

Posted by: dondy talleywhekkar http:// Wed Mar 9 15:09:31 2005

i suppose that is our main biological purpose! DAR DAR DAR