psychoceramics: From the desk of: Jesus

[tbyfield @ panix.com (t byfield)]

Bruce Ediger, Date: Thu, 22 Feb 1996 13:02:32 -0700 (MST)
>Subject: psychoceramics: A real Plutonium

>Apparently, a castration cult honoring Kybele used this cave for unspeakable
>rites into the 1st Century AD.  The cave was known as The Plutonium.
 <..>
>Another resonance with Our Archimedes' name, or mere ironical coincidence?

    Mere ironical coincidence, no doubt, but savvy students of the ancient
world will notice a familiar "scholarly" pattern: "a castration cult...used
this cave for unspeakable rites."
    Can you say "castration?" I _knew_ you could. So much for "unspeakable."

    Here's some ancient kookiness I've been putting off posting. It's known
more or less as "Jesus' Medical Correspondence with King Abgar the Dark of
Edessa"--though "business correspondence" might be more accurate, since he
says, in essence, "Here's my press packet--I'll get back to you on
Tuesday." Basically, the document (forged ca. 315 AD) was published by some
associate of the Roman Church in order to prove (with "documentation") that
Rome's preferred disciple had brought Christianity to Edessa, rather than
the disciple claimed by the Edessene church's _mere_ oral legend--and
thereby allow the Roman church to assert the kind of doctrinal hegemony
that later made the Roman primate "first among equals," i.e., the pope.

> Copy of a letter written by the toparch Abgar
> to Jesus, and sent to him at Jerusalem by the
> hand of Ananias the courier:  Abgar Uchama the
> toparch to Jesus the good Saviour, who has
> appeared in the city of Jerusalem, greeting. I
> have heard of thee and of thy healings, that
> they are done by thee without drugs and herbs.
> For as it is said, thou dost make blind men see
> again and lame walk, and dost cleanse lepers,
> and cast out unclean spirits and demons, and
> heal those tormented by long disease, and raise
> the dead. And when I heard all these things
> about thee, then I concluded that either thou
> art God come down from heaven to do them, or
> thou art the son of God, who doest these
> things. Therefore now I write and beseech thee
> to visit me, and heal the affliction which I
> have. Moreover I have heard that the Jews
> murmur against thee, and wish to do thee
> injury. Now I have a city, small indeed but
> noble, which is sufficient for both.
>
> The reply sent by Jesus, by the hand of Ananias
> the courier, to the toparch Abgar: Blessed art
> thou, who hast believed in me without having
> seen me. For it is written concerning me, that
> they who have seen me will not believe in me,
> and that they who have not seen me shall
> believe and live. But concerning what thou hast
> written to me, that I should come to thee, it
> is necessary that I fulfil here all for which I
> was sent, and after this fulfilment be taken up
> again unto Him who sent me. And when I am taken
> up, I will send to thee one of my disciples,
> that he may heal thine affliction and give life
> to thee and them that are with thee.

  [Hennecke & Schneelmelcher, _New Testament Apocrypha_
  (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1963), vol. I, pp. 441-42]