psychoceramics: Genetically Advanced Purple Monkeys of the Amazon Control theWorld

[Robert Arnold <rax @ warbaby.com>]

Stumbled onto this gem while I was doing a search on some stuff about
monkeys. I don't know if he's serious or not, but I'm afraid he just might
be. I have to ponder the implications of this theory awhile before I go
back and explore the rest of the site. Here's the text of the page at:
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/9830/


Genetically Advanced Purple Monkeys of the Amazon Control the World

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What the hell is a purple monkey ???

     The theory of the existence of purple monkeys was first put forth by
Tim Millican. The Tribe of the Purple Monkey is a tribe of genetically
advanced purple monkeys. These monkeys have telepathic abilities and control
the world.This page is dedicated to the Tribe of the Purple Monkeys.

History

     The Society of the purple monkey has a deep history, that begins in
Egypt. The first known record of the purple monkeys is in an appendix to the
papyrus ani. This appendix can be found at the end of plate XXXIII. A direct
[Image] translation of the appendix reads "To be said : Hail ye apes four
these who sit in the bows of the boat of Ra". Egyptians beleived
that a grey monkey operated the scales of value after death. The scale would
balance one's heart(the symbol of which is a pot) against their
ka(litterally translated a double, there actual body). As the monkeys
controled the after life and they were known associates with Ra (the God of
the Sun, King of Gods) they were of infinite importance to the Egyptians.
This a gave them unimaginable power at their earliest stage in known human
history. To your left is a funeral vignette from the Papyrus of Ani. The
monkeys later appeared in the palace of Knossos on the island of Crete, in
Greece. The palace of Knossos was the suspected home of the Minotaur. The
monkeys however had changed to a blue state. The monkeys then disapeared.
They returned in the middle ages. The alchemists of the time had discovered
the existence of the monkeys and would summon them for their own purposes.
The monkeys then caused the Dark Ages. It is very important to remember that
the monkeys did not want to hurt mankind, but merely to co-exist. The
monkeys once again dissapeared. Now there suspected home is in the amazon.
This is a perfect area for the tribe of the purple monkeys. The area is vast
and un-populated. The canopy provides shelter and also is a good home for a
variety of herbs and plant life that encourages telepathy. In a quest to be
left alone, the monkeys have taken control of the economy of the world. As a
result they publish fake documents and sabotage projects that may expose
them.

Telepathy

     The tribe of the purple monkeys is telepathic. As humans evolved from
apes by a physical process with only small intellectual differences. The
monkeys however did not evolve physically but instead mentally. Even with
their infinite intellegence and un-imaginable telepathic powers the monkeys
still use only eighty percent of there brain. Also in the amazon there are
special plants and herbs that help stimulate telepathic activies. Using
their telepathic abilities the monkeys are able to travel around the earth
at super sonic speeds and remain undetected. When someone claims to have
seen an alien craft, it is really a younger purple monkey practicing
traveling while not being seen. As they are not experienced at this there
are glichs in there telepathic field which appear as light or a greyish
mass.

How do they control the world

     The purple monkeys control the world in many aspects. Firstly by
controling key political leaders. The monkeys telepathically create
holograms to resemble the selected person. This however is a difficult and
strainous process. Due to its difficulties little mistakes will appear. The
mistakes will resemble a nonfunctional body part ie: Jean Cretien, Bob Dole,
Al Gore, Lucien Buchard, Bill Gates, T. Rosevelt, Stephen Hawkin. To have
purchasing power on the market the monkeys get money through a clever way.
Your Donations !! By claiming that they are with a group trying to protect
the rainforests. People deciding that this is a worthy cause write cheques
and send money. With all that money the monkeys purchased key stocks from
key companies at key times. Being major stock holders they have large say in
the direction of the companies.

What Can We Do ????

     Remain Calm, the Tribe of the Purple Monkey poses no imidiate threat.
They are peacefull and merely want to co-exist. As long as we don't go
looking for them and try to retreive them for science they will not harm us.

Bibliography

     To go to a Bibligraphy on the books used.

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Comments, ideas, proof, Email me at o--@h--.com





			Robert Arnold
	             Associate Editor - Arts & Entertainment
			The Angle
		   http://www.theangle.com

	Theatre is life, film is art, but television is just furniture.