psychoceramics: Infobahn Analogy

[rev @ halcyon.com (John Tynes)]

I wouldn't exactly call this guy (j--@g--.net) a crackpot, but on the
other hand, he has definitely popped the clutch and hit full throttle...

>In article <jimvan-0--@w---44.gate.net>, jimvan@gate.net (Jim
>Vandewalker) wrote:
>
>>In article <49jc67$6--@n--.news.aol.com>, trifec@aol.com (Trifec) wrote:
>
>> Free speech is such a slippery little eel...  Just when you think the
>> Constitution has it right, you run into an interpretation that fails the
>> "common sense / bull shit" test.  Perhaps an analogy will serve...  Think
>> of the computer highway AS a highway.
>
>
>There it is again.  Some clueless FOOL talking about the "Information
>Superhighway."  They don't know JACK about the net.  It's NOTHING like a
>Superhighway. That's a BAD metaphor.
>
>Yeah, but suppose the metaphor ran in the OTHER direction.  Suppose the
>HIGHWAYS were like the NET. All right! Severe craziness. A highway
>HUNDREDS of lanes wide. Most with potholes. Privately operated bridges and
>overpasses. No highway patrol. A couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with
>broken whistles. 500 member VIGILANTE POSSES with nuclear weapons. 237 ON
>RAMPS at every intersection. NO SIGNS. Wanna get to Ensenada? Holler out
>the window at a passing truck to ask directions. AD HOC traffic laws. Some
>lanes would VOTE to make use by a single-occupant-vehicle a CAPITAL
>OFFENSE on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and 9:00. Other lanes would
>just SHOOT you without a trial for talking on a car phone.
>
>AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking BUS with hundreds of EBOLA victims and
>a TOILET spewing out on the road behind it. Throwing DEAD WOMBATS and
>rotten cabbage at the other cars most of which have been ASSEMBLED AT HOME
>from kits. Some are 2.5 horsepower LAWNMOWER ENGINES with a top speed of
>nine miles an hour. Others burn NITROGLYCERINE and IDLE at 120.
>
>No license tags. World War II BOMBER NOSE ART instead. Terrifying
>paintings of huge teeth or VAMPIRE EAGLES. Bumper mounted MACHINE GUNS.
>Flip somebody the finger on this highway and get a WHITE PHOSPHORUS
>GRENADE up your tailpipe. Flatbed trucks with ANTI-AIRCRAFT MISSLE
>BATTERIES to shoot down the KRUD Traffic Watch helicopter. A little kid on
>a tricycle with a squirtgun filled with HYDROCHLORIC ACID.
>
>NO OFFRAMPS.
>
>Now THAT'S the way to run an Interstate Highway system.
>
>--
>Jim the Prophet
>"Forasmuch as he will body forth what I have revealed unto him and it will be
>the truth to my people" --The Book of Jim the Prophet, VIII, 12.

John Tynes   r--@h--.com      []     "If he died in Memphis,
http://www.halcyon.com/rev/       []     wouldn't that be cool?"
Pagan Publishing                  []          -The Replacements,
& Daedalus Entertainment          []              "Alex Chilton"