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psychoceramics: A Rating System for Religious Fundamentalism (fwd)
- To: p--@z--.net (Psychoceramics)
- Subject: psychoceramics: A Rating System for Religious Fundamentalism (fwd)
- From: acb @ cs.monash.edu.au (Andrew C. Bulhak)
- Date: Mon, 24 Jun 1996 03:50:20 +1000 (EST)
- Sender: owner-psychoceramics
I really should have sent this here in the first place...
-- acb
----- Forwarded message from Andrew C. Bulhak -----
Subject: A Rating System for Religious Fundamentalism
To: flat-e--@f---earth.org (flat earth), silent-tristero@world.std.com
From: acb @ cs.monash.edu.au (Andrew C. Bulhak)
[ forwards writhing and speaking in tongues ]
> Fundies, Fumbles, and Freaks: A Rating System for Religious Fundamentalism
>
> Version 1.01
>
> In response to the growing number of religious zealots and other
> general lunatics following fictitious deities around, we have compiled the
> following test in order to empirically measure the sanity of religious
> fanatics. This is similar to the Close Encounters test, and uses an identical
> table for calculating scores.
> Scoring: Total up all points based on the table below. Count each
> infraction separately.
>
>
> Points Infraction
>
> 1 Per valid argument that is not also sound.
> 1 Per word in all capital letters, excluding those who type in all
> caps and people with defective keyboards.
> 1 Being a member of a religious order that is generally agreed upon to
> be mentally out to lunch. Includes any order or sect not recognized
> as a religion. Double this for Church of Satan members. Triple this
> for Hare Krishnas.
> 2 Confusing logical reasoning with emotional appeals.
> 2 Claim that everyone believes in some form of God.
> 2 Logical fallacy or inconsistency: Q doesn't necessarily follow P.
> 2 Vague, unspecific reference to a person, place, or thing that
> supports their religious beliefs. Do not cite twice for being an
> emotional appeal.
> 2 Per use of hearsay evidence. Do not cite twice if this involves
> divine revelations.
> 3 Use of circular logic. Do not also count as a logical fallacy or
> inconsistency.
> 3 Per "sign" or miracle that can clearly be explained through secular
> means. Add one if person already knows the secular explanation(s).
> 3 Per claim that clearly violates laws of physics. Triple this if the
> fundie claims that it is physics, and not his/her story, that is
> fundamentally flawed. Add six to this total if the fundamentalist
> has had formal education in physics.
> 3 Per claim that a widely accepted scientific procedure is flawed,
> without good evidence. Includes attacks on Carbon Dating.
> 3 Claiming the second law of thermodynamics disproves evolution, or
> similar misuse of the laws of Physics. Also add three for each misuse
> of laws or theories pertaining to Chemistry, Biology, or any other
> scientific field.
> 3 Claiming non-existant gaps in the fossil record disprove evolution.
> Do not count this if the gaps cited are real or reasonably accurate.
> Add five if Piltdown Man or another forged hominid is mentioned.
> 4 Citing education or job held as evidence for sanity. Double this if
> zealot is a clergyman, Professor of religious studies, or trucker.
> 4 Per claim that heavy metal (or any other class of music) is the work
> of Satan. Count once per cited musical category.
> 4 Reversing societal definitions of good and evil to justify one's own
> stupid belief system. If you aren't sure, consult a dictionary.
> 4 Defending clearly evil actions of a deity or his chosen people;
> claiming they were good or morally right. Include any defenses of
> murder, especially divine murders in the Old Testament.
> 4 Per otherwise unspecified paranormal experience. Include out-of-body
> experiences and visions of heaven after being hit by lightning.
> Double this if the fundie has not actually been struck by lightning.
> 5 Per claim that God revealed Himself (or Herself) to the person in
> question. Add five if the fundie claims that God can reveal
> Himself to you, as well, if only you believe/look for a sign. Add
> one if the revelation came while under the influence of alcohol or
> other drugs, and/or while clearly mentally ill.
> 5 Millenialism; belief that the world will end before the year 2,010.
> Add ten if the person believes the world will end on January 1, 2000.
> Add ten if God told them so directly.
> 5 Per claim that Dungeons and Dragons (or any other role-playing game)
> is Satanic or inherently evil.
> 6 Citing any natural wonder as evidence for a Great Flood, esp. if it
> really provides evidence for the contrary. Add two if the Grand
> Canyon is mentioned.
> 7 Claiming that the Devil (or demons) can "get into someone's head"
> through listening to a specific type of music, through role-playing
> games, or through any other type of activity.
> 7 Claiming that every story in their particular canon is true to the
> letter.
> 8 Someone claims to be a Satanist, but also claims not to worship Satan
> 8 Continuing to make such claims after presentation of archaeological
> evidence to the contrary.
> 8 Citing Velikovskian (or similar) research as "valid" evidence for God.
> 8 Each claim that heaven is on a planet in another galaxy.
> 8 Using one's own religious canon as evidence for their argument, as if
> it were an accurate historical record.
> 9 Each claim that heaven is on a planet orbiting a star that clearly
> has no planets orbiting it. Add four if this is a binary, multiple
> star system, or pulsar.
> 10 Citing a book one has written - or is writing - as evidence.
> 10 Claiming one has actually been possessed by a demon or devil. Add two
> if the fundamentalist claims to have been possessed by Satan or
> some other supreme evil.
> 12 Each claim to have seen God, Satan (or another supreme evil), Jesus
> (or a similar messiah), Heaven, or Hell personally.
> 15 Claiming to be possessed by a demon, devil, or other supernatural
> being at the present time.
> 20 Claiming to be an angel, demon, or devil.
> 40 Claiming that one is God, Satan, or Jesus. Double this if the fundie
> offers to prove it.
>
> Final Score Meaning and interpretations
> 0 or less Sane. This person may very well have a logical, rational grip
> on religion, rare though it seems.
> 1-5 Reasonably Consistent. It is likely that the person you are
> evaluating has more rational beliefs than irrational ones.
> It is best to evaluate each belief separately in this case.
> 6-10 Questionable. Some of their claims could be reasonably
> founded, but the logic of each specific belief is largely
> unknown.
> 11-20 Borderline Fundamentalist. Accepts without question many
> religions beliefs; probably forces them on others. Dislikes
> claims that his/her religion may be wrong.
> 21-30 Fundamentalist. Expect unintelligible babble, idiotic
> defenses of ludicrous actions and events, and totally
> illogical claims.
> 31-40 Psychopath. Watch for white sheets and heavily armed pickup
> trucks. Tell this person to put down their Bible and get some
> fresh air.
> 41-59 Loon. You are dealing with a complete idiot. Ignore anything
> they say as illogical and blatantly false. Do not expect
> this person to ever develop an even marginally rational
> belief system.
> 60+ Stop counting at this point. Call the authorities, and report
> that the patient has escaped.
>
> --------------321353C161BA--
> |__
> |--> SVEN: a.k.a. Chris Blanc
> Internet consulting/Web design
>
> [ http://www.loop.com/~sven/ ]
>
> Some only sample the dark wine of life's blood...
--
"Come down you tiny robots with your little nipper claws, You pale and
bug-eyed aliens with white and clammy paws. Life is just
<a--@d--.null.org> a sucker's dream and death is a disgrace, So come on down
http://www.zikzak.net/~acb/ you Saucer Men and take me off to space." -Nenslo
----- End of forwarded message from Andrew C. Bulhak -----
--
"Come down you tiny robots with your little nipper claws, You pale and
bug-eyed aliens with white and clammy paws. Life is just
<a--@d--.null.org> a sucker's dream and death is a disgrace, So come on down
http://www.zikzak.net/~acb/ you Saucer Men and take me off to space." -Nenslo