psychoceramics: Fwd: Re: some useful suggestions... guess who's next!

[Bruce Baugh <arisian @ eyrie.org>]

I think the one-liner at the end of this pretty well covers it.

From: "James C. Allison" <allison @ livingston.net>
Newsgroups: alt.sci.physics.new-theories
Subject: Re: some useful suggestions... guess who's next!
Date: Sun, 03 Aug 1997 22:59:33 -0700

Jeffrey Allen Kassel wrote:
> 
> Suggestions:
> 
> Whenever you speak to anyone face to face (the best way), just start
> pointing to your eye whenever you feel compelled to use that non-word
> pseudo-personal pronoun "I".  Whenever you are not face to face, use the
> proper pronoun, ME (short for MY EYE).  For example: Me thinks.  Me
> sees.  Me says.
> 
> Whenever you speak to anyone face to face (the best way), just start
> pointing to your nose whenever you feel compelled to use that non-word
> pseudo-verb to "know".  Whenever not face to face, start to use the
> expression, BY MY NOSE.  For example:  By my nose, everybody knows this
> is nowhere, Neil.
> 
> Whenever you speak to anyone face to face (the best way), just start
> raising two fingers (your choice of which ones) whenever you feel
> compelled to use that non-word "true".  Whenever not face to face, start
> to use the expression, BEST TWO OUT OF THREE.  For example:  Best two
> out of three, everybody knows this is nowhere, so kneel instead of duck,
> because nothing’s going to hit you.
> 
> My opinions:
> 
> "I" is a misunderstanding, an error in translation, a typo, a mistake.
> 
> "Know" is a misunderstanding, an error in translation, a type, a
> mistake.
> 
> "Truth" is a misunderstanding, an error in translation, a typo, a
> mistake.
> 
> "God" is also a misunderstanding, an error in translation, a typo, a
> mistake.
> 
> Another suggestion:
> 
> Whenever you think of the name you would use for your special view of a
> "God", start to think, and speak with the properly spelled noun meaning
> GOODNESS.  For example:
> 
> God?  Use GOOD as in good is as good does.
> 
> Lord?  Use LARD as in the fat of the land.
> 
> Christ?  Use CRY-EST as in one who cries the most around here.
> 
> Allah?  Use A LA as in a la la la la la la la la.
> 
> Jehovah?  Use YOU HAVE A as in you have a good point to make.
> 
> God?  Use DOG as in dog, go do it (doggone it).
> 
> Generic:  Use SWEET NOTHING as in my eye sees you, you beautiful sweet
> nothing.
> 
> Non-English equivalents are available upon request.
> 
> Jeff
> 
> P.S.  Graphic version attached.  Note:  All characters portrayed are the
> property of time warner.  Note:  All names have been changed to protect
> the ignorant.
Jeff, Me thinks you needs to get out a bit more! :)
-- 
Hang in there!
Regards and sincere best wishes
AllisonWonderland
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