psychoceramics: bride for christ

[Ken Alexander <k--@e--.umich.edu>]

Someone handed me a brochure today about the "Divine Plan of the Ages".
You may have been wondering why Christ hasn't returned yet even though
prophets have been predicting his imminent return for centuries.
Well, it turns out that matchmaking has taken longer than expected.

   [few pages of biblical history stuff deleted]
   "But 1900 years have come and gone, and still there has been no
    resurrection of the dead.  Why the long delay?
    Another part of God's plan was being carried out.  A special
    heavenly call was sent forth, selecting out of the world
    (both Jew and Gentile) a bride for Christ - calling out one 
    here and one there.  The qualifications are strict and the 
    candidates are few..."

So it looks like Christ has had it with bachelorhood.  So if any of you
know any single women who might meet the strict qualifications...

It doesn't say how to apply, though.  It might involve an altar and a knife.


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